


Khan's Funeral

by Lionessinthedark



Series: Star Trek into darkness.....a bit different [18]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Khan is not a bad guy after all, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 03:59:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well...Khan is dead...This time for good. No one had time to remove his soul...even if there are still cloned bodies left.<br/>Jim feels very guilty......and Ketira has something very important to tell.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

It was in the First City on Qo’noS....the very centre of the former Klingon Empire. Now the newest member of the Federation...and the Council.

“Emperor” Krell (he could keep his title) stood close to the huge mausoleum that contained the remnants of “Khan Noonien Singh”. A plate of pure cold told in more than 50 galaxy languages that here lay one of the greatest warriors in the Galaxy and not just a warrior of the utmost courage but the very man that made peace between the Empire and the Federation possible by paying the ultimate price: his own life.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk was standing a bit away from the others. It was his turn to speak in about 25 minutes. He shuddered and looked at his mini-Padd. Writing this speech had been one of the hardest things he had ever done in that area. “My final farewell to a great man” was the headline. Who would have thought that more than 4 years ago...that he should be standing here having difficulties holding his emotions back, his tears... when he was about to say his last farewell to Khan Noonien Singh?

If someone had said that more than 4 years ago that Khan Noonien Singh had died....he would have thought “good riddance!”....and it would have been so wrong. Even now he really can’t figure out how they....the United Star Fleet Federation....could have treated one man so unjustly. First made him into a slave, abused him in more than one way, nearly committing genocide almost killing him and the remnants of his people and when the man then did fight back against the slavery, the genocide, against the injustice and against the threats, then he was accused of murder and of terrorism and when he finally got his trial and it was a very close call that he had just been handed over to the section that had abused him in the first place, then they condemned him to death! 

The worst part for Jim is that he can’t say he wasn’t a part of it. He had himself suggested to hunt down the “John Harrison” and kill him without trial and it was only his commanding officer Spock who stopped him from committing murder and starting a war against the Klingons at the same time. That very same officer who hunted down a wounded man, the same Khan, trying to kill him because of something that man had nothing to do with. Not a single one on Jim’s ship would be able to plead “innocent” regarding treating Khan unjustly..........and even then Khan had done nothing but prove himself loyal beyond all limits. He had really shown that there wasn’t anything he would not do to protect his “family”...even die.  
Jim and Spock had betrayed him too. And Jim still felt a sick feeling in his stomach as he remembered how he had accused Khan of being a manipulative monster, just before Khan had left the star ship together with prince Krell. And now.....they couldn’t even say “thank you” to him. His soul was gone.....and the empty dead shell was left behind. At least after “Growlar II” they now knew that there was such a thing as a soul.....a mind. But maybe it was only there when it could be “caught”, maintained in a sort of circuit. So maybe Khan was gone forever when he died in the dungeons of the Klingon Emperor’s palace.

Now it was Jim’s turn to make his speech. He really hoped that he wouldn’t cry...but what if he did? It would be no shame....  
____________________

When he returned to the place where he had been standing before he had made his speech, there was a tall woman standing there. She wore a cape with a hood and as she put the hood down, Jim recognized her. The high-priestess from Betazed....Ketira.

He didn’t say anything just bowed his head to show that he had seen her. She had done something to Khan after the crew had left Betazed but neither Khan nor Spock would tell him what it was in the beginning and then Spock had been forced to do it as Jim had accused Khan so unjustly.

“He wouldn’t have liked you to know”, she said.

Oh bugger....he had forgotten that she was a mind-reader!

And she continued “And I’m not the one to reveal his secret. I can tell you that he was tested and that he passed in...how do you humans say? “In flying colours”.  
Jim just nodded and tried to think of nothing.

“I’m not going to invade your mind...but I can feel your grief. Please accept my condolences!”

Jim looked away: “Accepted”

“You wish that you somehow could have him back again?”

“I do……at least to tell him how much I loved him…and respected him. That we all did! Even if I do not know what got in to me as I very wrongly accused him of being a monster just before he left with Prince Krell”

“You don’t think he knew that you loved him?”

Jim turned towards her in anger and spat: “How could he when our/ mine last betrayal against him was just less than 6 months ago and then again only a few hours before he left!”

Jim turned away again not ashamed of the tears in his eyes: “He saved our arses again and again protecting us against dangers on foreign planets. Blowing a mad-man, who could have threatened the whole Federation, yeah the whole Council, into pieces on one of the Vorta planets. And as he stepped just a little tiny bit out of the line, we turned our backs at him. Well not literately I, Spock or Bones, as we were at a party…at a party!!! But the rest of the officers…of the crew. Every single one of them….they all chose to believe the worst. If it had been any other of my officers that had been treated like that, there would have been a trial. But I couldn’t put my whole crew through a trial. It would have crippled my ship totally. I knew….and Khan knew that.... and he felt my despair and did the only thing he could do. Refused a trial and just shrug his shoulders and said: “I forgive them. I understand why they did as they did and I forgive”.

Jim continued: “Khan had been undergoing a treatment that was extremely painful to prevent him from being a danger to us. You know...you did it. And you tested him cruelly afterwards. And he had discovered potential dangerous embryos….yeah you should know as you received them on Betazed. And then I accused him so wrongly, choosing to believe the worst again and thus betraying his trust….just one more fucking time. Throwing away the love I had for him. He said to me that deep down I never found him trustworthy….that to me he’ll always be the one who killed Pike.  
And he was right!  
And it is so wrong, because he had made atonement for that deed so many times since then. And I was rightfully accused of putting Pike on too high a horse. But it took Spock’s analyses of the whole event to make me realize that. At that time my wrong accusations had pushed Khan away. And it was in the aftermath of these events, the magnitude of betrayal and distrust, that he decided to make this…this suicidal-……this maniac-……this “it is bound to fail”-attempt to make peace between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. And behold…..he actually made it and paid the ultimate price.  
What good does a mausoleum do? And nice words? He his dead!!!  
And every one of my crew mourns him now. It’s so easy when he is dead. And I’ll still have to be their captain, at least for a little while. They are my responsibility. But they sort of killed him! I killed him”  
And tears ran down Jim’s cheeks now.

“I’ll find you when it is all over” said Ketira, “I have something to tell you!”


	2. Chapter 2

Jim and Ketira found a quiet place. Amazingly enough as it seemed as if half the Galaxy was there on Qo’noS. Ketira looked at Jim and said: “This is rather difficult to talk about. What we did was so illegal…”

And Jim interrupted her: “A lot of the things we did regarding Khan have been nothing but illegal, so you can’t shock me!”

Ketira opened her bag and took out an Orion slave torq: “On Betazed…after we had healed Khan, I asked him to stay…and we tested him as I said. But that was not the only thing we did. We duplicated his mind, his soul. And we made clones of him!”

“You did what!?!”

“We made clones of him, just like you did. Our methods are not as advanced as the Vortas’ so our clones are still only babies. You’ll have to understand that Khan is unique…”

Jim interrupted: “I know…”

“No I do not think you know” she said and touched his hand: “It is very complicated and it’ll take a while to explain. Maybe I should continue over a meal?”  
____________________

As they ate Ketira explained: “Many…well actually billions of years ago, someone or something visited our galaxy, maybe even our total Universe. They started life on every promising planet. How do we know that? Because everywhere we look in this Galaxy every life form: the Bandersnatchers with whom we cannot really communicate, the Buzzers that Khan defeated, the living crystals on Gakolainz, the Marionetts that are not at all humanoids but something entirely different, the Squids in Halaumph-system. All living life forms from bacteria to the 190 tons whale- like Gramorns in the Graimanaik-system….we all do share the same code of life. The double-helix. You call it the DNA; other races call it different names. But it consists of the same bases: adenine, thymine, guanine and cytosine and in the RNA uracil too. I am using the words from standard……you humans amazingly found the structure only a few hundred years into your scientific area. An amazing achievement that gave us all a thought. Because you humans/tellurians are rather unique and we were tempted to keep you “in the nursing room” and not come into sight towards you… us…the Council….the other thinking races in the Milky Way in the Beta Quadrant, because you scared us!”

And Ketira continued:

“Khan’s fight against the Buzzers showed us the necessity of telling you that you were not alone and it was decided that you should be a part of the Federation… and of the Council. There are still voices though that claims that you are too young…too immature..... to be a part of that and actually Marcus’ deeds and the trial against Khan almost proved them right.

Thank God you managed to do the right thing and those voices were silenced. So…many billion of years ago life was planted in this galaxy. It thrived and grew and about 30 million years ago….long time after the dinosaurs did die out on Earth…a race emerged here in this Galaxy….the “Old Ones”….”The Founders”. They had an advanced civilization and were able to fly in space. And they did fly…..finding life on remote planets. Life that they wanted to be more like them. They planted their own DNA. Came like angles from the sky…and their scientists mingled themselves with the life-forms on the foreign planets: the primates, the reptiles or the birds.. and made all the humanoids that we know here in this Galaxy. That is why we are so much alike all of us. Yeah….different skin-tones: from black, to yellow, to green, to blue, to purple, to brown, to almost white. Not everyone a mammal and different ears, ridges on the skull, but never the less: a lot of us would be able to walk on each other’s planets without being recognized as aliens. Not something the Bandersnatchers or the Squids can do! And “They” revisited the planets to make sure everything went according to their plans”

Jim just looked at her: “We have tales in the Tellurian Bible about visiting angels from the sky!!!”

Ketira looked at him and said: “The last places they re-visited were the remote planets in the outer spiral-arms….like your solar-system. We even suspect them to…oh never mind. I’m going to go back to that later. I better continue: about 2.500.000 years ago they had developed a way to make themselves immortal. Most of them left their bodies and became electromagnetic waves. Conscious but without bodies that could be destroyed. They continued to monitor life…making sure that civilizations survived, that discoveries were made. That humanoids learned to travel in space. One of the last planets they visited ..still in bodies... was yours, Jim. Earth. You have even descriptions of them! Other races have too and I’m going to read you a translated description.”

“Go on”, said Jim.

“Remember it is translated into Standard. The words and the terms into tellurian terms. I’ll read: _“The old ones” are very beautiful”,_ and she continued: _“they stand 8ft tall, almost 2.5 meters. They always have fair skin, almost white... like marble. But they are not fragile. They are incredible strong even if it can’t be seen on them. They’ve got the muscles of a dancer or an acrobat. They have very beautiful faces and their eyes have all the colours of the rainbow, but mostly in blue, gray and green nuances…like gem-stones. They are often cold, distant and sometimes cruel, but if they regard you as a friend they would do anything for you. They are not immortal but they live often more 500 years. Therefore they have little understanding for the fragile and short lives of us”_

Ketira looked at Jim and said: “I’m going to read something from Earth too, and please have patience. It will be clear why I’m doing this later!”

“Continue, please”, said Jim: “I’m listening”

“This is a text from your planet. From around year 1200: _“They are tall and of a celestial beauty. Their skin is always pale like snow and you cannot tell the colour of their eyes. The colour changes all the time. They are tall…more than 2.5 meters and even the men’s faces are so beautiful that you do not dare looking at them. They look human and yet not because their facial features are not quite human and they have pointed ears. Most of them have blond hair but the royalty among them have raven-black hair.”_

Ketira had stopped reading and looked at Jim: “Can you tell me whom that text from Earth and that other text described? You should know. They stayed for such a long time...in bodies...on your planet that they sparked your development. You are one of the youngest races and yet you went from stone-axes to atom-bombs in less than 8000 years. That is 8 times as fast as any other races in the galaxy!  
Before the “Old Ones” came to your planet the second time, there were humanoids on Earth. But they did not develop...not in a million years. The stone axes they made a million years prior were the same a millions years after. So the “Old Ones” decided to give it another try and “Homo Sapiens Sapiens” emerged. And since then you have developed so fast that you scare us! So....whom did I describe from your past?”

Jim looked at her for a moment memorizing her words and suddenly he could see it: “The elves.....they are describing the elves. Not the small ones with wings...not the fairies. But the elves...They were aliens!!!!”

“And now you close your eyes and listen again and try to remember one you once knew!”

Jim did as he was told and listened to her words as she read the texts again and then he said: “It’s Khan!! Except from his height and the pointy ears, you are describing Khan!!!”

“Exactly! We knew how the “Old Ones” had looked like and suddenly you turn up with something very similar and ask us to heal him! Can you imagine how busy we were to examine his DNA???”

“But how?...The scientist back on Earth didn’t know about the” Old Ones”. How could they recreate them?”

“Not “them”......only “him”. He was unique even amongst his own augmented people. His name indicated that he should be of a darker skin-tone and you know that he told you that he was the only “pale” one. He was the strongest, the cleverest, and the fastest even amongst the augments and earlier and later versions were not totally like him even if they shared the same name, and did look a bit like each other too. Somehow the “Old Ones” managed to re-create one of themselves...nearly. Maybe the last strand of DNA was carried by a sneeze from a laboratory-worker with a cold. Maybe a hand did shake a little bit at a time. We have analysed his DNA and compared it to remnants from the “Old Ones”...and there was a very close match. He was more than 99, 9% one of the “Old Ones” Jim. It is just his height and the pointy ears that differ. And the fact that he was shattered and broken because of his past. Even you Jim, being a tellurian, have more DNA from the “Old Ones” than any other races in the galaxy! You humans from Earth are a patchwork of DNA from them and other alien races and the only explanation is that you were made by the “Old Ones”. That is the only explanation except from the Vulcan genes. They came from the Vulcans that fled from Surak’s regime on Vulcan. But you know that already”

Jim just looked at her: “You said that he was broken? Is it our fault?”

She smiled at him: “No. He was broken even before Marcus found him. The people back in time on Earth threw away a possibility to have a leader that could have brought peace to Earth. Could have made all the different countries work together. But somehow I think that they and we too have been manipulated. That the “Old Ones” still are present and that everything that has happened: The attack from the Buzzers that went unnoticed by the Council, the eugenic wars, Marcus’ cruelty, Khan actions to free his people, our uncharacteristic illegal actions, the Klingon emperor’s stupidity, your disloyalty. The way some of us sometimes are acting out of character.....I have the feeling that it is all just a part of a bigger plan.....but I’m not sure. Maybe it is just coincidence. But the universe is seldom that lazy!”

She sat silently for a few seconds then she pushed the Padd and the torq against Jim’s hands: “You can have him back again. His soul, his mind... is duplicated in this torq as I told you. Just put it around the neck of one of your clones”.... and then she abruptly rose to her feet and went away without looking back.

Jim just looked at the torq. What a possibility. He had even been tempted just to thaw one of the clones and slowly give it a memory. Just telling it/him that he had had an accident and had lost his memory. Like that he would have Khan’s body back. But it would not be the man he loved and had betrayed that badly...and that he missed so much. Not only his perfect body....at least he now knew why Khan did look like a freaking marble God...but his mind too.


	3. Chapter 3

When Jim returned to the USS Enterprise he told Spock and Bones about the torq and all the other stuff that Ketira had explained and they called a lot of the officers to a meeting. Uhura, Scotty, Sulu and Chekov amongst others.   
They all agreed that they would like to have Khan back. Mostly because it would give them a chance to make atonement for their horrific behaviour against him. They had a problem though. Khan had official been declared dead and had been buried in that mausoleum.   
How could they explain that he had risen from the dead? But Bones had just looked at them and said: “He is the man that was frozen solid as he was exposed to the coldness of space as he was sucked out into space? (a story not yet told) He is the man that apparently survived Growlar II. We know that he didn’t. But they do not know that in the Starfleet. We’ll just tell them that the message about his death was a bit too hasty and a bit exaggerated!”  
____________________________  
They were in the med-bay. Bones, Spock and Jim. And Spock Prime and Sarek. They had been called for and they had travelled for several weeks to be there. Just as a precaution. Bones had been afraid that they would have to make something like the Fal-tor-pan ritual again.   
And in the room was one of the thawed but yet a bit sedated clones, of course. The spheres in the body from Motaka had been carefully removed. Thank God the advises from the now rather embarrassed Vortas had been meticulously enough to make it possible to remove them without damage. Bones just wished that he had known before. Then Khan would have been spared the horrific treatment on Betazed. On the other hand...if they hadn’t gone to Betazed they would not have a torq with a copy of Khans soul.  
Bones carefully placed the torq around the clone’s neck and closed it. And then they waited.  
________________________________

Khan opened his eyes.....and made a sharp intake of breath. He was not in the Limbo anymore....no wait.....he had been at Betazed and Ketira........no wait......something about Qo’noS....He felt dizzy. Too many memories collided in his head.......to many contradictive memories. Just as if he had been at different places at the same time. He closed his eyes again, trying to shoot the outside world out.

“He’s slipping away...Damn it...it doesn’t work!!!” It was Bones voice. He could remember something about Bones. Something that made him feel good.....safe....secure. 

Other voices: “Do something, Bones...” ...it was Jim.   
The feelings towards Jim were mixed. A part of him loved Jim, but a part of him hated....no......was very disappointed with.....

“Should I try a mind-meld?”...that voice...it was Spock. He was all right.......most of the time. He had tried to kill him once though.....

And suddenly it all made sense. The dammed torq...it had short-circuited his brain despite what Ketira had said!!!

Khan opened his eyes again. He felt sluggish......he lifted his hand.....(how did that come back?.....he had lost it on Qo’noS...in the dungeons as his body had tried to save his life by cutting of the blood supply to his hands and feet)....nonsense!......he had just been on Betazed and Ketira had tested him....

Bones face.....hovering over him with that damned tricorder! “Hi Bones....where is your hypos!?” whispered Khan.

“He is back...“ Khan could hear the relief in Bones voice.

Bones face came into focus again: “How are you?”

Khan answered: “Confused.......schizophrenic.....I have contradictive memories.......tired......exhausted.....dizzy......do you need more symptoms?”

Bones looked worried: “The rest of you...out. Leave us alone!”

Khan felt himself slipping away again and murmured: “Tired.......exhausted. Want to sleep......just like when Marcus awoke me the wrong way.....hurts.......”

And he closed his eyes again.....


	4. Chapter 4

When Khan awoke again but remained still and kept his eyes closed, he felt better and less confused. It was as if his brain had sorted the memories....made them fit. But it made no sense......How could he have been 3 different places at the same time?   
He had clear memories about what had happened until he opened the torq at Betazed: the islands so many years ago, the training, the Buzzers, the escape from death on Earth, Marcus, the crash, the trial, being on the USS Enterprise.......everything....... sharp and clear up till when he removed the torq.   
And then his memories were out of order, muddled, distant and only fragments, most of all feelings and blurred pictures. He wondered if it was that way people without an eidetic memory would remember things.   
And then.......vague memories about Qo’noS......did he die there?! And how did the Limbo fit in there? That black cold strange place with no sense of time at all. Had he been there a day, a month, several years? And the “presence”......the feeling of tendrils in his brain.....Khan........no he felt different. He wasn’t “Khan” any more...... “Noonien” would be a better name. And with that decision he opened his eyes.

Bones were standing beside him: “Do you feel better? Your readings say that, but it is only a body-scan. Says nothing about your mind. You said you felt schizophrenic?”

Noonien was now sitting up-right: “Yeah...I feel better. But it is different from the last time I got a new body. I’ve found an explanation, though...I think. Can I borrow your computer, Bones?”  
___________________

4 hours later “Noonien” called Spock, Sarek and Spock Prime for a meeting and he insisted on being called “Noonien”.

““Khan” died on Qo’noS......well actually he died on Growlar II to be correct.”, as he said. 

He would tell later, why he was no longer “Khan” if they could wait just a little bit longer?

As they were assembled it took a while before Noonien began to talk: “I’m sorry, but this is difficult and I’m going to stir up your world. Our languages do not have words for it...but I’ll try. Please have patience with me while I try to explain...and this is most of all for Vulcan ears, therefore the meeting only with you!”

“We are prepared to listen, as it is obvious that you have something very important to tell us. And I understand it is not something that can be told during a mind-meld?” said Spock Prime.

“No way...and I’ll explain later, why mind-meld would be a very poor idea!” said Noonien and continued:

“Since I was awoken....since I got my “soul” back from the torq, I’ve tried to find an explanation in which all my confusing memories, senses and thoughts could fit. And I think I’ve found the explanation. It is something, though, that will alter a lot in my and your understanding of the psychic and physical world and how the mind is build.  
I hope this gives some sense, so please listen without interruptions.

We’ll have to go back in time first. Something I learned back on Earth as I was educated together with my brothers and sister. The ancient Egyptians thought that we had 5 souls....no.....that is not the right word.....maybe the right word would be “soul-parts”: the Ka, the Ba, the Ren, the Sheut and the Ib. Together they made the whole person’s mind. They were not entirely right, but came close. Later humans forgot about the division and talked about one immortal soul and then humans got very scientific and found out that we didn’t have an immortal soul at all, but that it was only chemicals in the brain and neurotransmitters and gray tissue and nerve-cells. That took you by surprise that humans nowadays didn’t know that we had a soul and it took me by surprise too as you three moved mine and Spock contained it! For that I’m ever grateful!"

And Khan continued: "The medieval church was wrong as so was the Egyptians and the scientists......and so were you!. What you call the soul...the Katra...is only a part of the whole! When Ketira made a copy of my “soul” back on Betazed, she made only a copy of my “Ba”....my personality and my “Ib”....my memories.   
And that was what you moved from one body to another: the “Ba” and the “Ib”......together they make the near physical part of the whole.....the part consisting of neuro-chemicals and nerve cells and gray matter. And the Ba and the Ib are bound to flesh. Do not exist without a brain.....or without being captured in an artificial circuit...like the torq....or captured in your “Katric Arks”.

As Ketira made a copy of those two, Ba and Ib, she took a little part of it as well, thus explaining why I felt a bit off since Betazed. When I exercised I couldn’t feel it, but I felt it later. It was those two parts of the mind that you have caught in the “Katric arks” and together they seem to be the whole soul....but they are not! 

But when they are caught, whether it is in a modified Orion slave-torq or in crystals in a Katric ark.....they tether the soul. Makes it impossible for it to fly free and move on.......it condemns the souls to a prison....to the Limbo! Does anything I say make sense?”

Sarek, Spock Prime and Spock looked at Khan in shock. They immediately understood the implications!

“Let me see if I have understood it right” said Spock Prime: “when you died on Qo’noS.....and your brain died...your Ba...your personality... and your Ib...your memories... vanished totally? And because your Ba and your Ib had been copied and partly captured in the torq, your soul was tethered to this physical world and ended in a place in between....in a Limbo?”

“Yes...it is what I think happened. Thank god I didn’t wear that torq for long....because you can’t just copy a Ba and a Ib....small parts of them sort of follows the copying. That is why I felt strange after Betazed.”

Now Spock Prime and Sarek looked even more worried and Sarek spoke: “So...when we contained Vulcan souls in our Katric Arks......we didn’t transfer the soul, but only their Bas and Ibs and condemned their souls to the Limbo?! But the priests could awake them...and talk to them...and they could be moved to other bodies and didn’t say anything about that Limbo!”

Noonien looked at them with sadness in his eyes: “The priests awoke the Bas and the Ibs....and together they make a convincing “soul”. People can lose their souls...their Kas....and you wouldn’t notice... maybe even for 10 years or more! We had diseases on Earth where people lost their souls, their Ka, and you wouldn’t notice because they would carry on as if nothing had happened. Eventually their memory and personality would crumble because their soul wasn’t there to “glue” it all together. The Ba and the Ib leave an imprint on the soul and the soul leaves an imprint in the physical brain. I shouldn’t be able to “remember” anything about what happened since I took of that torq on Betazed...but I do! I remember Jim’s accusations...how they hurt me deeply...”

At those words Spock looked worried at him but didn’t say a word.

“And I “remember””, continued Noonien: “some of the things that happened on Qo’noS together with Prince....no “Emperor” Krell, but these memories are blurred and not in chronological order....most of all feelings and some glimpses: a cave, an explosion, a village in snow, the dungeons...”

They sat for a while in silence. And then Spock Prime spoke: “Can you tell us more about that “Limbo” into which we Vulcans have condemned our greatest souls?”

“It is a strange place and should have scared me. But it didn’t....because I had no body to carry feelings. No chemicals...no adrenaline. I did remember feelings...but I didn’t feel them. I didn’t have a sense of time in there either. That dimension doesn’t exist in there. I don’t even know how long time I’ve been in there?”

“11 months” said Spock: “Prince Krell contacted us and told us you were dead. That he had found you too late. He was devastated and felt so guilty. He told us about your last words and I performed a mind-meld with him as we were beamed to the palace. We trusted him because he told us your last words....words that showed us that you had trusted him. I don’t know if you remember that.....but he was your bond-mate, the Klingon version of our T’hy’la and that made me trust him....even if I had a very unworthy feeling of jealousy”...right there Spock’s ears turned a bit green.

And he continued: “I know I can’t blame you, Noonien, and Khan must have had a very good reason. Never the less....I had that unworthy feeling. And then the planning of your funeral.....the Empire’s enrolment in the Federation and in the Council...all of it took time. And it was first at your funeral that Ketira admitted she had made a copy of your soul, your Katra.”

“11 months.....hm.....And I can’t tell you if it was one day or 1000 years. There is no sense of time in there at all” said Noonien and continued: “If that is a comfort to you....and it should be. It is not a hell being there. Just strange! It is cold and dark, but you have no body to feel that. It is vast...and at the same time limited. A plain of black and silver sand....no sun.... and the sky is always black, but without stars and yet it is not dark. The light like twilight....not bright...not dark. And there are mountains in the horizon but you can never reach them, no matter how far you go out on that plain, the mountains keep the same distance.   
There is a city...and you can alter being on the plain or in that city. But there are only streets and buildings without doors and windows. And everything is black, white or gray and you should be scared like hell, but you are not. And you can feel the presence of other souls...or at least I could in the “beginning”....and don’t ask me how long the beginning lasted. You cannot actually see anybody...just sense a presence.”

Noonien’s voice trembled and he continued: “at a time I felt a.....a whoosh.....an immense sort of relief...and after that I could hardly sense others any more. Maybe it was the time Vulcan was destroyed and all the Vulcan souls were liberated....as I told you...there is no time-dimension in that limbo!”

Sarek spoke now: “There a still people on New Vulcan that have Katric Arks, only a few, but they have. We’ll have to tell them that they have to destroy them. But not necessary share this horrible truth with them!”

He looked at his son: “I don’t have to ask you to keep this contained in your soul!”

Spock bowed his head: “Of course not, father!” 

Then Noonien turned towards Spock too: “I....on the other hand....have something I have to ask you to do!”

Spock looked at him....and didn’t like the cold look in Noonien’s eyes.

“Yes?” Spock said.

“I know that Jim had a talk with you just before Khan left the USS Enterprise. And that he wanted to re-live me to ask forgiveness for his harsh words” said Noonien.

“That is true” said Spock.

“I can’t give him that forgiveness!” said Noonien: “I’m not able to forgive something I haven’t heard....and I haven’t heard the words! I have the remnants of the feelings these accusations left as an imprint on my soul: The betrayal, the feeling of hopelessness, the utter grief because to Jim Khan will always be the man who killed Pike, despite all Jim’s declarations of love towards Khan. I might be able to forgive in time to come. But not now. The feelings are too profound. So tell him that...that I can’t say “I forgive” because I really don’t know what to forgive...and in that case the forgiveness would be hollow. Of course I can say it....but I wouldn’t mean it, so what’s the point? Go, Spock...I do not need you, but Jim does!. Go! Leave me! Go and love Jim! The love that you chose towards him instead of towards Khan. I’ve still have an imprint in my soul that you two were together without me.... you made love to each other without me. You have chosen.....so leave me!”

Spock looked at Noonien not knowing what to say and reached out towards him, but Noonien jerked his head away: “Don’t!”

Spock just looked at him: “It’s true that Jim and I did seek comfort together without you...no....without Khan. And that was wrong, but.....”

Noonien interrupted: “I’m not interested in why! You two have chosen.....live with your choice! And leave me!”

Spock’s shoulders slumped; he turned around and left....

Sarek turned towards Noonien after the door had closed behind Spock and began to say: “That was harsh....”

But Spock Prime stopped him with a hand on his arm, shook his head and pointed at Noonien who really made an effort not to cry.

He looked at the two Vulcans: “Give me a moment, please?”

Then he closed his eyes and the two Vulcans could almost see the mask slip into place....the mask that showed no feelings. The two Vulcans could only admire his effort.....he was almost Vulcan-like in his ability to hide his feelings, but the two men wasn’t sure any more that that was a good thing, despite their upbringing. 

Noonien cleared his throat: “I’m going to ask you to make a choice. There are 5 persons that I totally trust...that I would trust with my life. Jim...despite his late betrayal. He is so much a man of honour that he would still protect me even if he doubts my motives.   
Your son, Sarek. He has made so much atonement for what he did to me so many years ago. That is why it torments me to be so hard....to push them away from me. But I have to! I love them! And I can’t risk harming them. But you must never tell them the truth. I have to leave.....and it is easier when they hate me! I trust Bones totally too. But both Jim and Spock are going to need him. That leaves only you two!

Spock Prime said: “You trust me? Despite that it was my words that made Jim and Spock betray you then.... more than 5 years ago?!”

“I do...because it has made you so much more eager to make atonement for those words, that you’ll never allow anyone to harm me!”

“That is true!”

“And you Sarek. You accepted me as your son’s T’hy’la....you helped transferring my Katra then....”

“And I’ll do anything I can to help you” said Sarek.

“Fine.....I’ll reveal a bit and then you can make your choice. But you must know that if you choose to follow me, you’ll have to keep your contact with Spock, Jim, Bones and the rest of the crew at a minimum. Or else you might jeopardize their lives! Not as bad as I would do....I can have no contact what so ever! If Spock mind-melded with me, he could get killed! That is why I have to make them hate me. I’ll rather face nearly 20 years of utter loneliness than tamper with their lives!”

He looked down at his hands and asked Spock Prime and Sarek: “I do not know how much you know about the “Old Ones”?

Sarek looked at him and said: “Jim told us what Ketira had told him: they altered life many millions of years ago, mingled their own DNA, created all the humanoids in this Galaxy and left flesh and became immortal......and that you are genetically close to being one of them!”

Noonien looked up with a very worried look in his eyes: “How many are “us”?!”

Spock Prime answered: “I, Sarek, Spock, Jim and Bones”

Noonien closed his eyes: “Thank God......and I don’t even believe in “Gods”......You must tell them to be careful with that knowledge and keep it inside!”

“But the Betazoids know it too!” said Sarek.

“Yes” said Noonien: “but they can shield themselves....therefore of no importance. Well time to reveal a bit more then!” and he made a smirk: “In ancient times on Earth they would have called me possessed....by demons.....but when I was in that Limbo the “Old Ones” made a direct connection to my soul, and as it returned to my body, to my brain. I’m a slave of “their” wishes. Thus calling myself “Noonien”....I can’t be called by a title that indicates power, when I’m a slave.   
They have given me an order....a “terrible purpose”.....that I can’t do anything but fulfil. I do not know if it is because they are in my brain that I can see the necessity or because it really is a good idea. But it is a burden....heavy to carry for one man. I can do it because I have to. But I would so much like not to be alone. I can understand if you do not want to.....and then.....in that case......please leave!” 

Spock Prime reached out and touched Noonien’s hand. And felt and saw the purpose, being a touch-telepath. Even a more skilled one than Spock: “I’m in” he said, and continued: “I do not even belong in this Universe, Noonien, so if my life can have a purpose by sharing your burden, I’m in!”

And Sarek touched Noonien’s hands too and saw the purpose too: “Even if it means I’ll have to minimize my contact with my son....he is a grown-up and have many friends. You’ll only have us. I’ll be honoured to follow you!”

Noonien smiled and gave their hands a squeeze: “Then here is my plan.....First I’ll have to contact High-priestess Ketira.....

**Author's Note:**

> I re-read Arthur C. Clarke's “Childhoods End” recently and got this idea.
> 
> Note: I’m not a Trekkie and I’m not sure I’ve got the different races, Empires, Dominions and Federations correct. Not even how they are placed in the Galaxy versus each other.  
> And some of the foreign species I have borrowed from other science fiction stories and others I have invented.
> 
> All the stories in my series take place in the Star Trek universe and are in chronological order....in “the alternate reality” and “post Star Trek into Darkness”, except from the first 2 stories and the main point is that Khan Noonien Singh is not a bad guy after all...or is he? Are there hidden agendas somewhere?  
> Khan’s background story differs from the canon, though.  
> And of course I do not own the characters. They belong to Roddenberry in the first place and Paramount in the second.  
> English is not my native tongue so I excuse if there are failures.


End file.
